Identify your blind spots

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

Life has a way of surprising us, sometimes stopping us in our tracks. Whether it is an unexpected event, a painful experience, or a sudden realization, these moments often reveal parts of ourselves we were previously unaware of. They act as mirrors, reflecting our blind spots and character flaws that need attention, for me that was my mental breakdown.

In this passage, the psalmist invites God to search his heart, to test his thoughts, and to reveal any offensive ways within him. This humble prayer is a powerful starting point for our 40-day soul cleanse. It acknowledges that we are not always aware of our shortcomings and need God’s guidance to uncover them.

This is more or less a self-knowledge class, what I often find fascinating is how little we are taught about ourselves, our habits, patterns, triggers. These often have to be interrupted for God to bring new light to the broken parts of our souls. My breakdown led me to a dark valley that required me to review my life, heal my inner child and change the way that I thought about myself, God and the world at large.

Consider the areas where you may have been unaware of your weaknesses, areas that need His healing touch then ask God to reveal your blind spots and character flaws. It might be an attitude, a behavior, or a mindset that has been holding you back from becoming who God is calling you to be. A recurring pattern that does not allow God to fully move in your life, God knows exactly who you are because you are His, He knows what needs fixing, renovation, or plain demolition, if we would just LISTEN!

Remember, this journey is not about condemnation but about growth and transformation, God reveals our flaws not to shame us, but to heal us and lead us towards a life of purpose and fulfillment. As you invite Him into this process, trust that He will gently guide you and provide the strength you need to face and overcome these areas. Look at your point of origin and go the school of the Holy Spirit, the Wonderful Counselor seek His help in humility and abandon.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I lay out my thoughts, my experiences and my whole life story before you my Master. Look into the crevices of my soul and uproot all the thoughts that do not agree with your purposeful love for me. Help me identify the patterns, the blind spots, lifestyles that I have adopted that are not advancing your Kingdom and bringing You glory, I submit myself to you as the psalmist did so that you can search me, and in the process of being fully seen and loved by You I will live accordingly and develop that awareness that seeks to live a life of wholeness and meaning in Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Take your power back

“Jonathan son of Saul had a son who was lame in both feet. He was five years old when the news about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel. His nurse picked him up and fled, but as she hurried to leave, he fell and became disabled. His name was Mephibosheth.” 2 Samuel 4:4

From the moment we take our first breath, we are thrusted into a world that can be both beautiful and harsh. Many of us have experienced words and actions that wounded us deeply, derailing our sense of self-worth and purpose.

These experiences can leave lasting scars, impacting our lives in ways we may not even fully understand. As a highly sensitive child, there were so many damaging words that were said to me that I carried into adulthood.

As children we don’t necessarily know how to process a lot of the things that are happening to us, and unfortunately the people who were supposed to protect us and provide us with the safety that we need to thrive ended up failing us miserably. But as we will discuss further on as we tackle generational curses and blessings, people can only give you what they have.

The story of Mephibosheth, is one that some of us can relate to he was dropped at birth and ended up crippled and destitute though his grandfather was once king in the land. But the unfortunate turn of events that were not fault of his own made it so that he found himself in a low place and crippled.

The words spoken over us, especially in our formative years, have the power to shape our identities. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “the tongue has the power of life and death.” Words of abuse or negativity can lodge themselves deep within our hearts, influencing our beliefs and behaviors. Unfortunately the devil uses these experiences to make us believe that God is not for us and has forgotten us and if we are not careful we might invite those lies into our lives. In such instances we find ourselves in this vicious cycles that we can’t break but it is all a lie!

We also have the power to reclaim and redefine our lives by seeking healing and embracing the truth of who God says we are. In this passage of Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations,” we are reminded of a powerful truth: before we were even born, God knew us and set us apart for a special purpose. This verse speaks to the inherent value and potential within each of us, regardless of the negative experiences we have endured.

Start by healing your inner child, this process involves addressing the hurts and traumas from our past that have shaped our present selves. By nurturing and comforting that inner child with God’s love and truth, we can begin to heal and move forward. This is where God started me when He called me out to start my journey of healing, He showed me the triggers in my childhood that derailed me and blinded me to His providence.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, I thank You for knowing me and setting me apart even before I was born. I bring before You the words and experiences that have wounded me deeply. Help me to take back the power from those negative influences and replace them with Your truth. Heal my inner child and remind me of my inherent worth and purpose in You. Lead me on a path of healing and wholeness. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Growing up in an ungodly household

“The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” Proverbs 3:33

The field of epigenetics studies how gene expression is regulated by factors other than changes to the underlying DNA sequence. In relation to inherited trauma and mental disease, epigenetics explores how experiences, particularly stressful or traumatic ones, can cause changes in gene expression that may be passed down to subsequent generations. These changes can affect brain function and behavior, potentially leading to an increased susceptibility to mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, and PTSD. This field provides insight into how environmental factors can have long-term, transgenerational impacts on mental health.

The foundation of our lives is often laid by our parents, who are intended to provide love, guidance, and protection. The roles of the masculine and feminine are crucial in shaping our identity and sense of security. However, when these roles are unfulfilled or disrupted through loss, neglect, or other circumstances and it can leave us feeling unprotected and vulnerable.

For those of us who were raised by ungodly men, we can almost see the suffering and the burden that ensue on our mothers and ourselves. A man who doesn’t have divine wisdom can not even begin to know what to do with his family. The bipolarity of the masculine and the feminine energies are not at play which means that the relationship is not ordained and does not have the blessing of God in it.

So a lot of us have inherited family pathologies and we have to do the work of breaking these curses to experience God’s best for our lives. But unfortunately, it does not negate the deficit that we operate under, I will go more in depth on generational trauma on day 7.

The Bible speaks to the importance of honoring our parents in Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Yet, what happens when parents fail to fulfill their roles? When the foundation laid is faulty, it can lead to feelings of invisibility, or conversely, acting out as a means of coping with the instability.

As we consider, from our discussion yesterday, the story of Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9. As the son of Jonathan and grandson of King Saul, Mephibosheth’s life was turned upside down when his father and grandfather died in battle. At a young age, he fell and became crippled, living in obscurity and fear. His story reflects how a disrupted foundation can lead to a life of hardship and insecurity.

But Mephibosheth’s story doesn’t end there. King David, honoring his covenant with Jonathan, sought out Mephibosheth, restoring him to a place of honor and provision. This act of grace and redemption mirrors how God seeks to restore us, even when our foundations are faulty. Even if our earthly foundations are flawed, we can build a new, strong foundation in God’s righteousness and love.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I acknowledge the faulty foundations in my life caused by the failures or losses of my parents and the world at large. I bring before You the feelings of vulnerability, invisibility, and the struggle to fend for myself. Help me to honor my parents despite their shortcomings, and guide me in building a new foundation rooted in Your righteousness and love, restore and bless my life, just as You did for Mephibosheth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Spiritual abuse rooted in shame, guilt and manipulation.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1

Spiritual abuse is a deeply painful experience, it occurs when individuals or institutions use religious teachings to manipulate, control, and instill fear, shame, and guilt. This abuse can distort our understanding of God and hinder our spiritual growth. Instead of finding freedom and joy in our faith, we feel burdened and trapped by legalism and false piety.

As someone who grew up in churches that only taught us about how God will send us to hell if we so much as blink the wrong way, the people who were supposed to lead us to the heart of a loving God taught us shame, guilt and hustle Christianity (basically the more you do for God the more He will bless you). But God loved us while we were still sinners, He calls us to light and heaven so that we can leave our sinful way and move into the kingdom of light.

Today’s verse is a powerful reminder that our identity in Christ is rooted in love, not in fear or control; God’s love is unconditional and abundant, and it is the foundation of our relationship with Him.

Religiosity, which emphasizes external appearances and rigid rules, can often create an environment where spiritual abuse thrives. People may appear holy on the outside while their hearts are far from God. This is in stark contrast to the genuine, transformative love that God desires for us, a love that calls us to repentance and grace, a love that helps us become obedient and holy.

So for those of us who experienced spiritual abuse, it is essential to recognize that these manipulative tactics do not reflect the true nature of God. God is not in the business of using shame and guilt to control us. Instead, He lavishes His love upon us, calling us His children and inviting us into a relationship based on grace and truth.

Identify the lies that have been used to control you and replace them with the truth of God’s love and acceptance. Remember that you are a beloved child of God, and His love for you is unchanging and unwavering.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I come before You with a heart that has been wounded by spiritual abuse and religiosity. I ask for Your healing touch to cleanse me of the shame, guilt, and manipulation that have distorted my understanding of You. Help me to embrace the great love You have lavished on me and to see myself as Your beloved child. Guide me in walking away from legalism and into the freedom and joy of a genuine relationship with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

An identity crisis and a strained relationship with God.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

The devil, known as the thief, seeks to steal our identity, kill our confidence, and destroy our relationship with God. He whispers lies that make us doubt our worth and question our place in God’s kingdom. This identity theft can lead to a crisis, causing a strange and distant relationship with the One who loves us most. I shared on day 2 how words that were said over me, I carried into adulthood because as life would have it those words were seeds of lies that became reality because I believed them, surely these were older people who knew more than me.

As it relates to spiritual abuse, or any type of abuse, there are seeds of low-esteem, poor self-image that are sown into our soul and because we were not given room to express ourselves we because immature adult scrambling for acceptance. The devil steals very early on because he knows that once he can make you doubt yourself you can then doubt God and became sterile in your thinking and in your walk with God.

John 10:10 reveals the stark contrast between the thief’s intentions and Jesus’ purpose, while the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, Jesus comes to give us life to the full. The enemy’s lies aim to convince us that we are unworthy, planting seeds of doubt that echo the serpent’s question to Eve: “Did God really say?”

These seeds of doubt can grow into a full-blown identity crisis if left unchecked. We may begin to see ourselves through the lens of our failures, fears, and insecurities rather than through God’s eyes. Yet, God’s Word is clear about who we are. In 1 Peter 2:9, we are called a “chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession.” This identity is secure, regardless of the chaos around us. Your worth is not determined by your circumstances or failures but by God’s unwavering love and purpose for your life.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I come before You, acknowledging the chaos and confusion that have caused me to doubt my worth and identity. I reject the lies of the enemy and choose to embrace the truth of who You say I am. Help me to see myself through Your eyes, as a chosen, royal, and holy child of God. Strengthen my relationship with You and guide me in walking confidently in the identity You have given me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Emotional stunting due to lack of proper upbringing and conflict management.

“They have greatly oppressed me from my youth,” let Israel say; “they have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me. Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long. But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.” Psalm 129:1-4

Emotional growth requires validation and understanding, yet many of us have experienced a lack of these essential components during our formative years. When our emotions are not acknowledged or validated, we can become emotionally stunted, feeling like wanderers in our own hearts, homeless and unsure of how to manage conflicts constructively. This emotional homelessness leads to survival tactics that can involve attacking others to protect ourselves, rather than resolving issues healthily.

As an introverted and quiet child I internalized a lot of anger due to unfair treatment and as an adult it became a serious issue because as soon I felt like I was being attacked, I would respond with the most lethal words to obliterate what I considered to be my enemy who was being unfair towards me.

When I tell that the first thing to go was my anger, God was adamant about showing this destructive sin in my life and to uproot all the lies and that built-up pain that came with it. Listen we can either be whole or be right, these needs that some of us have for vindication may never come. The people who abused you are the least likely to acknowledge it and apologize, so let us bring our pain to God and trust Him with the vengeance part of the equation.

Psalm 129:1-4 reflects a journey of oppression and hardship from youth, yet it also highlights a powerful truth: despite the oppression, victory is not in the hands of our oppressors; the Lord is righteous and has the power to cut us free from the cords that bind us. This liberation is not just physical but emotional and spiritual as well.

God’s first act in our healing process often involves addressing our inner child, the part of us that carries the wounds and unmet needs from our early years. Healing our inner child means acknowledging the pain and validating the emotions that were once dismissed. It is about allowing God to tenderly mend those broken pieces and teach us healthy ways to manage conflicts and emotions. Invite God into those wounded places, asking Him to heal your inner child and teach you new ways of managing your emotions. I found my emotional home in God’s unconditionally love, you can too!

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I come to You with the wounds of my past and the emotions that have been left unvalidated. I feel emotionally stunted and homeless, struggling to manage conflicts in a healthy way. I ask for Your healing touch on my inner child, validate my feelings and teach me how to navigate my emotions with Your wisdom and grace. Cut me free from the cords of the wicked and lead me into emotional wholeness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Generational trauma inherent of slavery, colonization, ethnic wars, political instability, and dehumanization and ungodly practices.

“You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” Deuteronomy 5:9

If you are of chocolate persuasion you are likely to suffer on a macro level from the consequences of either colonization or slavery. All these from a collective consciousness that wants us to view ourselves as inferior though we are not and because they not only affect us on a mental level but also financially, economically and relationally; we end up committing to mindsets and lifestyle that are destructive in the long-run.

I am also cognizant of that the fact that race is not the only issue though it influences greatly on how we are likely to be perceived and treated in this world. As I alluded it in to the story of Mephibosheth, we all have to forgive our parents for their mistakes and decide to be the ones who break the generational curses.

Generational trauma is a profound and often an unseen burden, it can stem from a history of slavery, colonization, ethnic wars, instability, and dehumanization. These experiences don’t just disappear, they get stored in our bodies, minds, and spirits, affecting how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. The pain of our ancestors can influence our lives, manifesting as fears, anxieties, or even physical ailments as discussed on day 3.

We can not honestly expect people who lived through ethnic wars, homelessness, poverty know how to gentle parent and validate our feelings. We have to choose to see this dysfunction from what it is and ask God to liberate us from the mindsets and ailments that came from being dehumanized.

Deuteronomy 5:9 speaks to the consequences of idolatry and sin being passed down through generations and while this verse may seem harsh, it underscores the powerful impact of generational choices and behaviors. It is important to understand that this passage is not about a vindictive God but about the natural consequences of turning away from Him. However, it is equally important to remember that God provides a path to break these cycles through His love, grace, and redemption.

Idolatry can take many forms, including the elevation of money, status, or power above God. When we or our ancestors have turned to these false idols, the resulting trauma and dehumanization can lead to cycles of poverty and mistreatment. Yet, God’s desire is to break these chains and bring healing to our lives. By turning away from idolatry and seeking God’s face, we can begin to break free from the cycles of trauma and embrace a future filled with hope and restoration.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I acknowledge the generational trauma that has been passed down through my lineage. The pain of slavery, colonization, ethnic wars, instability, and dehumanization has left deep scars. I ask for Your healing touch on these wounds., help me to turn away from all forms of idolatry and to seek Your face. Break the cycles of trauma and poverty that have bound my family for generations and restore us with Your love and grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Birth order, favoritism, sibling rivalry, shame, secrets, abuse, gender roles, conditioning, objectification.

“This is the account of the family line of Abraham’s son Isaac. Abraham became the father of Isaac, and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram and sister of Laban the Aramean. Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, ‘Why is this happening to me?’ So she went to inquire of the Lord. The Lord said to her, ‘Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.’ When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them. The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, ‘Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!’ (That is why he was also called Edom.) Jacob replied, ‘First sell me your birthright.’ ‘Look, I am about to die,’ Esau said. ‘What good is the birthright to me?’ But Jacob said, ‘Swear to me first.’ So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.” Genesis 25:19-34

Family dynamics can be complex and challenging to say the least, the story of Jacob and Esau in this passge highlights many issues that can arise within a family: favoritism, rivalry, secrets, and manipulation. Isaac and Rebekah’s favoritism towards their sons set the stage for deep-seated conflict and betrayal. Esau, the firstborn, was favored by Isaac, while Jacob was favored by Rebekah. This favoritism led to rivalry, shame, and ultimately, a fractured relationship between the brothers.

Favoritism and birth order can shape our experiences and perceptions, they can create feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and resentment. Gender roles and conditioning can further complicate our relationships, leading to objectification and unmet expectations. These dynamics can cause deep emotional wounds, affecting how we view ourselves and interact with others.

In some instances boys are treated better than girls or the good kid is treated better than the trouble maker. I take issue in hearing things like this is the black sheep of the family, like how can you label someone with such evil words and expect the person to act right.

The thing that I didn’t enjoy as the first girl is how my mom wanted to turn me into her 2.0 version, how she burdened me with things that my dad and other men in her life should have being in charge of. Immature parents tend to burden their children and guilt trip them when they don’t act accordingly.

The rage in me wanted to stay away from everything that resemble her life because it is not what I wanted for my life, I should have been allowed to be a child and not be responsible of my siblings and the household at 10ish.

In this passage, we see Esau despising his birthright and selling it to Jacob for a meal, this act reflects the long-term consequences of unresolved family issues and personal choices driven by immediate needs rather than long-term values. Jacob’s willingness to deceive his brother also highlights the impact of family conditioning and the lengths to which we might go to gain approval or secure our place in the family. A mother loved one son to the point of pushing him to steal his brother’s blessings. If messed up was a situation this would be it but it is a reality of so many of us where we see our parents act like we don’t exist.

Reflect on your own family dynamics and the roles you have played within your family, acknowledge the messiness that has shaped your identity and relationships. Invite God into these areas, asking Him to heal the wounds and bring restoration to your family.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I bring before You the complexities and challenges of my family dynamics, the favoritism, rivalry, and conditioning that have shaped my identity and relationships. I ask for Your healing touch on these wounds. Help me to see myself and my family members through Your eyes, and guide us towards reconciliation and wholeness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The demonization of self-expression or artistic expression.

“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth.” Psalm 96:1

There are few things more frustrating and stifling than being muzzled, being denied the opportunity to speak, to be heard, or to express oneself freely. For some, this suppression extends to artistic forms of expression, where creativity is demonized and silenced. This can lead to feelings of invisibility, frustration, and a loss of identity.

God delights in our expression, I mean look at his creations! He created us with unique voices and talents, and He longs to hear our songs, see our art, and witness our creativity. Our expressions, whether through words, music, art, or any other form, are a testament to His creativity and love.

Continuing our conversation on spiritual abuse, I bet some of us had to go through a time where we were interested in a creative endeavor just to be told that it is of the devil with no explanation. The devil doesn’t create, period! He only perverts, so to say that anything is of him is a lie. The desire that you have to express yourself are only wrong if they are impure in nature and don’t align with God’s desire and purpose for your life.

When we are muzzled, it can feel like a part of us is dying, we might begin to believe that our voices don’t matter, that our contributions are worthless. But God’s Word tells us otherwise, our expressions are a vital part of our worship and our testimony. They allow us to communicate the beauty, pain, joy, and sorrow of our experiences. Consider the forms of expression that have been denied or demonized, invite God into these spaces, asking Him to restore your voice and your ability to express yourself freely and fully.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, I ask for Your healing touch to restore my voice and my ability to express myself freely, help me to sing a new song to You, to create and express in ways that honor You and reflect Your creativity and Your love for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Viewing the world through the lens of pain

“For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.” Matthew 13:15

A hardened heart can create a barrier between us and the world around us, when we view life through the lens of past pain, our perceptions can become clouded. This perspective often leads to a low level of comprehension, where we struggle to grasp the true nature of our experiences and the motivations of others. In an effort to protect ourselves, we may engage in unhealthy behaviors as a way to avoid facing pain and accountability.

I spoke about my anger, this anger had affected my ability to understand, my worldview, my comprehension level. If you assume that most people are out to get you, you will miss the move of God in your life and you will attract narcissistic people ready to feed your confirmation bias. Even as God would want to heal me all I wanted was vindication and if I am being honest my need to stay Christian was more correlated in my fear of hell that I was about nurturing my relationship with God, I was bitter! The Word calls bitterness defilement of the soul. So how would God work in destruction?

Matthew 13:15 speaks to the consequences of a calloused heart. It describes a people who have become so hardened that they cannot see, hear, or understand the healing that God desires for them. This spiritual blindness often stems from a history of hurt and disappointment, leading us to question the very goodness of God which are eventually manifested in mistrust, causing us to distance ourselves from others and from God.

Yet, the promise of God is that healing is available, when we allow ourselves to feel and process our pain, rather than bury it beneath a hardened heart, we open ourselves up to understanding and growth. God longs for us to turn to Him with our brokenness, so that He can bring healing and restore our hearts to a place of softness and receptivity.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, I recognize the hardness in my heart that has developed due to past pain and disappointment. I have viewed the world through a lens of mistrust, often questioning Your goodness and truth. I ask for Your healing touch to soften my heart, to help me see clearly, hear fully, and understand deeply. Open my eyes and ears to Your truth, and help me to embrace the healing You desire for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.